Some of God’s faithful are just simply discouraged from reaching out to a world that seems, at the least disinterested, and at the worst, hostile to the truth of God’s great power. Time and time again we tell our friends and family about the power of God to change lives and circumstances… and yet, they remain as though they have been numbed by some unseen anesthetic. And if we do get a response it is derogatory or argumentative. As a result, God’s people are genuinely touched by the testimonies of His great power, but are hesitant to promote these miracles to others because… well, they’ve been rebuffed and ridiculed so often in the past, it’s hard, after having been burnt so many times before, to go back into the fire again.
However, this complaint may find it’s genesis in the depths of the very dark recesses of that moribund place called self. This place is so awful that few are willing to admit that it even exists.
On a weekly basis I witness God’s awesome power changing the lives of the students and the families of Calvary Christian Academy. I see His miraculous blessings of provision and freedom continually poured out upon the Church. But.... at the same time, I witness a particularly nasty little worm infesting the hearts of many: the worm of selfishness. “If it ain’t MY miracle, then God is not working in lives today! The only miracle that matters is MINE.” No, I’ve not heard anyone say these things, but I have heard the “faithful” complaining.
I realize that this sounds very harsh, and I recognize that I have judged the hearts of some. But, my judgments come only after hearing the very complaints that betray our faint applause for another’s miracle as little more than cover for our own selfish hearts. I am therefore left with only one conclusion. Pentecostal power only comes upon churches and individuals who have truly come face to face with the horrors of self. Those who have put to death the forces of selfishness in all of it many manifestations will then and only then be ready for the power of God to flow through their lives.
The history books are filled with those who were used mightily of God in
Pentecostal manifestations of healing and faith, and yet themselves carried seemingly unanswered needs in their personal lives. Paul’s thorn in the flesh. Wigglesworth's kidney stones. My friend, Walt Weaver’s headaches. David Wilkerson’s wife’s cancer. The list could go on and on. How is it that those who seem so close to the mighty power of Pentecost seem to themselves not benefit from it? Therein lies the mystery; a mystery that I have grown to accept. I will not pretend to understand every action of a Sovereign God - His ways are not my ways or His thoughts mine. And though I strive to understand, I now see as through a darkened glass. However, through that darkened glass I see men who were willing to fully rejoice in God’s power being shown to others despite their own personal pain and struggle.
Let us not now complain. Let us completely recognize and rejoice in each and every miracle of God. Let us resist the temptation to compare the work of God here to the the work of God somewhere else. Let us be wise and discerning concerning the miracles of God. And most of all let us each and every one deal thoroughly and completely with the ugliness of self found deep in the hidden recesses of our own hearts.
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